Not Being Believed -
Insult Added to Injury

Most of the nation (minus the football fans) sat enthralled for hours in front of their TV sets last week to hear testimony by, and for and against Judge Clarence Thomas and Professor Anita Hill. [Senate Confirmation Hearings, Oct. 1991] Talk shows were buzzing with telephone call ins and TV and radio stations took polls. It seemed everyone had an opinion on who was telling the truth. And those opinions would change as first one side would present their case and people would swing their way. Then the other side would present its case, and people would swing that way. The truth was important, but elusive. Everyone who testified was articulate, calm, intelligent, well educated, prominently positioned, well groomed, and sounded truthful. With no concrete evidence to present, and with the complicating suspicion of special interest involvement, it was baffling.

One newspaper writer quoted Mark Twain in his article describing the Judiciary hearing. "Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense." I did not think that quote really applied to the Thomas/Hill hearing, but felt it does apply to the truth of Environmental Illness. Perhaps that is why it is so hard for us to get others to believe us. Our stories are often stranger than fiction and do not make sense to anyone who has not experienced this type of health injury.

Just recently, I was very frustrated over the matter of truth while attending the Urban Pesticide Spraying Symposium. Several of the health officials presiding used discrediting words such as perception, belief, anecdotes, and associations when describing the public's experience and trauma during and after Los Angeles and other Southern California counties were aerially sprayed with malathion. The health officials in charge were also not objective in their information-gathering and did not take into account all testimony. Only flu-like symptoms, asthma, rash and hay fever were studied, and they did not accept reports of illness from people not directly under the spray area as valid. I wondered how could such educated, intelligent, articulate, impressive-looking, courteous people not put two and two together and agree malathion was causing health problems. On the other hand, it was also as hard for me to believe that these people could know the truth and not care. Were they telling the truth from their angle, or were they unconscionably, serving special interests? In one of my fanciful moments, I decided they would make good space aliens.

The experience reminded me of an American Playhouse production I saw last June on PBS. The location of the 100 year old play "An Enemy of the People" was reset by Arthur Miller in 1952 to take place at the turn of the century in Maine. It was about a resort town known for its springs. The springs were also the sole source of income for the residents. A young scientist searching for truth found that the springs had become polluted. In his naive zeal to save the townspeople and tourists from disease and, he thought, to be awarded as a hero, he rocked the boat and was subsequently branded as a rabble rouser and enemy of the town. Between greed, special interests, fear and ignorance, denial prevailed and he and the truth were rejected.

This fictional story follows many real life scenarios.¹ It seems to be human nature that people do not get involved unless "it" happens to them. All down through history, people have conformed to the norm, not wanting to recognize danger, to rock the boat and change, or to reach out and help anyone injured from negligence. It took a long time for coal miners with black lung, shipyard workers with asbestos caused cancer, and radiation victims to be recognized and compensated for their injuries. Obviously disabled people have long been neglected, and I just read that victims of child abuse face frequent disbelief. Is it any wonder E.I.s are not believed and are rejected as well? We have to admit the disease is like something out of a Twilight Zone story. One member wrote, "I get so frustrated at times, even with my own husband for questioning me on this, etc., but when I really put myself in the other person's position I can imagine how hard it would be to understand unless I had experienced the reactions myself."

We are often asked if we have any materials which would convince family members of the reality of Environmental Illness. We have materials that SHOULD convince anyone. I just received a thank you letter this last week from a member in which she said "I'm happy to report that with the tape, 'Understanding Environmental Illness' (by Dixie Peterson) I finally got through to my children that I am sick." However, incomprehensible to me, some people are unconvinceable. Perhaps they are not choosing to disbelieve our word, but choosing to believe their life experience and are protecting their special interests. Dr. Rea has said "It's just a matter of time (until Chemical Sensitivity is treated as real by conventional physicians). The facts are there. Anyone can see that. It's only (those with) vested interests who can't."² It reminds me of the verse "because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand."³

I have many tragic stories of unbelief I could share with you. They might help some of you to realize that you are not alone in being doubted and rejected. However, I might end up depressing you even more. Here is one short, representative note I will share:

Dear Janet, You are such an inspiration to me! Just to know I'm not alone or crazy and that my suffering is very real has kept me from suicide. I've not sat around feeling sorry for myself, but have been actively involved in seeking solutions. Nonetheless, I've been discredited by family (good Christians) and most people I meet. Enclosed are copies of letters I have written crying out to be believed...if it weren't for your faithful newsletters, I would have written myself off as a hopeless hypochondriac with absolutely no worth as a human being.

Not being believed does hurt. So, how can we overcome such hurt and have a peace within ourselves? Let's look at the life of Job, a good example for anyone suffering illness, but especially for those with Environmental Illness. Job, as a man who was "perfect and up-right....that feared God,"⁴ and who always helped others⁵ was certainly undeserving of his calamity. His physical suffering was extreme: "running sores from head to foot. Food that should nourish me sticks in my throat, and my bowels rumble with an echoing sound. By night pain pierces my very bones, and there is ceaseless throbbing in my veins."⁶ He lost his riches (job) and the respect and patience of his wife who told him to "curse God and die!"⁷. Job did want to die and find relief, preferring "death to all my sufferings" and he was "sickened of life."⁸ But God had other plans for Job.

Job had enjoyed unusual respect before the tragedy. If I went through the gate out of the town to take my seat in the public square, young men saw me and kept out of sight; old men rose to their feet, men in authority broke off their talk....They listened to me expectantly and waited in silence for my opinion. When I had spoken, no one spoke again; my words fell gently on them; they waited for them as for rain....When I smiled on them, they took heart.⁹ But, "friends" who initially came to comfort him¹⁰ ended up blaming him for his affliction. Disregarding all they knew about Job previously, they said he must have been sinful or was not doing enough good to have deserved such punishment.¹¹ E.I.'s can certainly identify with the experiences of Job.

But how did he respond to his affliction and the taunts of others? While he lost children he loved, everything he owned, and his health, he "sinned not, nor charged God foolishly."¹² And, Job persevered in believing in himself,¹³ and would never give up.¹⁴ It is so important that E.I.s believe in themselves. Those who do usually persevere in diet, lifestyle change and avoidance which brings them to higher plateaus of health. Credibility is often gained if others see the difference in personality and health following correct diagnosis and treatment. However, they are quick to see through and/or give up on E.I.'s who burden others to make changes for them, but who go in and out of denial, contradicting themselves, and who do not discipline themselves.

Job stood up to the arguments of his "friends," and questioned their perfection and wisdom.¹⁵ And he presented to them a truthful view of life wherein the wicked are known to prosper to old age, even when they reject God.¹⁶ We can righteously stand up to our friends with the truth of Environmental Illness as well, and we can tell them they are acting just like Job's "friends." (I have been distressed over the years to hear E.I.'s criticize and question other E.I.'s in much the same way our "friends" question us. Those criticizing usually do so only from their own limited experience. Environmental Illness presents itself in a myriad of ways, and each individual has his/her own collage of symptoms. Let's believe in and support one another.)

Although Job questions God, he humbly responds to God's questioning of him.¹⁷ God ends up taking Job's "friends" to task: "I am angry with you and your two friends, because you have not spoken as you ought about me, as my servant Job has done."¹⁸ Then He had Job pray for them.

An even more perfect example for us is in the Lord Jesus Christ. He was perfect God/man, free of sin, with His life devoted to teaching, healing, and creating miracles. He fulfilled hundreds of years of intricate prophecy, impossible for a mere human being. But His Way of Truth challenged the religious leaders of the day. Disregarding all they had heard and seen of Jesus, they chose not to believe and He was put to death. Even after He miraculously rose form the grave, people chose not to believe. But, He chose to forgive and to love and to be patient. He is still patient, today, inviting more and more guests to the banquet He is preparing for us one day.¹⁹

Yes, it does hurt when spouses, children, friends, fellow Christians, pastors, co-workers and bosses, doctors, etc. do not believe us. They are V.I.P. (very important people) to us. But, we can go to the Lord and ask Him to help us. We can ask Him to help us forgive and be patient. We can also ask Him to show us how to take care of ourselves the best way we can in the face of unbelief and opposition. He understands. He experienced rejection and unbelief from friends, neighbors, and His followers, as well as from religious leaders. He was even humiliated and jeered while on the cross, but He did not give up what He knew had to be done and He leaned on His heavenly Father to sustain Him. And, like us, Jesus Christ continues to experience unbelief from people who are V.I.P. to Him. Perhaps these VIPS do not believe Him, or in Him, because His dying for their sins does not make sense to them. Surely, love that unconditional is hard to believe, though it is also true and stranger than fiction.

God knows the unique struggles that His E.I. children experience. He knows that it helps us to know others with the same condition and struggles. He also wants to provide practical help and encouragement. Therefore, He called forth Share, Care and Prayer to begin ministering for Him. But, most important of all, He who knew us while we were yet in the womb²⁰ wants us to know that He knows the truth, that He believes in us, that we are His special interest, that He is not only our loving Father, but our friend and Great Physician and that He will never leave or desert us.²¹

For God Himself has said, 'I will never leave you or desert you.'

Epilogue

In the area of belief, unfortunately, nothing seems to have changed since this was published in a Share, Care and Prayer newsletter in 1991. More and more people have become knowingly sensitive, and more have become chronically ill who do not know they are sensitive. There have been some good research results. However, we are still not believed and Environmental Medicine is still not accepted or respected. Why? Because, like the man in the play "The Enemy of the People" in the above article, acknowledgement that chemicals are causing sensitivity and chronic illness will rock the boat of medicine, industry, agriculture, etc.

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1. Read about one real life issue affecting us that is denied and covered up. A conscientious entomologist, the late Dr. Robert Van den Bosch, pulls no punches in his book, Pesticide Conspiracy.

2. "Tell me it's not for REAL," Vegetarian Times, Oc. 1991

3. Matthew 13:13

4. Job was upright, Job 1:1

5. He helped others, Job 29:12-17, 30:24,25

6. his suffering was extreme, Job 2:7, 6:7, 30:17

7. had an impatient wife, Job 2:9

8. he wanted to die, Job 6:8-11, 7:15,16, 10:1

9. Job was respected, 29:7-10, 21-25 (One of our members wrote her master's thesis in behavior medicine showing that a representative sample of 40 Environmentally Ill patients were typically sane, hardworking, and well-adjusted before exposure. Even after the loss of their health, they were not psychotic, just fatigued. And, Dr. Linda Davidoff's Johns Hopkins University MCS Preliminary Study results conclude that people studied with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity did not fit the profile for psychosomatic disorder.

10. friends comfort Job, Job 2:11-13

11. friends accuse him, Job 15:17-35, 18:5-21

12. he sinned not, Job 1:22

13. believed in himself, Job 9:20

14. would not give up, Job 27:6

15. Job questions friends, Job 12:2

16. wicked succeed, Job 21:7-17

17. Job humbles himself before God, Job 42:1-6

18. God is angry with Job's friends, Job 42:8

19. invitation to banquet, Mt. 22:4,9; Luke 14:16, Rev 19:9

20. knew thee in womb, Jer 1:5

21. God will never leave us, Heb 13:6

Reprinted and slightly edited from the July-Nov 1992 Share Care and Prayer newsletter

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